About Stewie

Not much to say. I work, I watch movies, I write reviews and I love to go to a kick ass coffee shop every Saturday and Sunday.

Thank God for the interwebs.

For the past few weeks, whenever I flushed the toilet, my pipes have sounded like hell with a bunch of shaking. I thought it was off, but I figured it would go away in a day or so.

It didn’t.

Looking into it at first, I mistakenly read the noise was fine, but the more I thought about it, them more I figured that’s just not right. This was a new problem. My pipes had never made this noise. So a few nights ago I finally knuckled down to look into the issue. I dreaded doing so, though, as I didn’t want to pay a plumber to come in and fix something. Especially if it meant cutting into my walls to do so. God, the money that would come out of my pocket.

(Very) luckily for me, it turned out to be something really simple to fix; something called a water hammer. To be honest, I still don’t really understand what a water hammer is, but this kind of explains it:

Water hammer is a specific plumbing noise, not a generic name for pipe clatter. It occurs when you shut off the water suddenly and the fast-moving water rushing through the pipe is brought to a quick halt, creating a sort of shock wave and a hammering noise. Plumbing that’s properly installed has air chambers, or cushions, that compress when the shock wave hits, softening the blow and preventing this hammering. The chambers can fail, though, because water under pressure gradually absorbs the air. (Source: https://home.howstuffworks.com/home-improvement/plumbing/how-to-fix-pipes5.htm)

The fix? Turn off the main water, open up all of your faucets/washing machine/etc. and flush your toilets (basically get all the water out), and then turn back on the water.

This seemed to easy and I did it expecting the worst but hoping for the best. However, much to my surprise and glee, it did work. The first flush I did after turning the water back on I heard no noise, but I expected that to be a fluke. But it’s been a few days and still no more pipes rattling around. I’m so happy over this. I just keep thinking that if this was pre-internet, I would have paid a few hundred dollars for a plumber to turn it off and back on again. Fuck yeah, internet.

Oh, and the noise on my wall? Still gone. It was most definitely the cable box. I haven’t sent it back yet, but I’m pretty sure I will. I’m just going to take my TiVo from my bedroom and hook it up, since I never use my TiVo upstairs. Then I’m gonna send that cable box back and save $15 or $20 a month.

Unrelated (other than “BANG” in the title), Babylon A.D. was a great band in the ’80s (or maybe early ’90s) who I always felt never got the exposure they deserved. They also have another great song that would relate to this post called “Hammer Swings Down”.

Really? I mean, fucking really?

For the past week or so I’ve been hearing this vibration on the wall in my living room that has been driving me absolutely crazy. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, and because it happens so infrequently and only lasts a few seconds, I couldn’t get my phone ready in time to record it to play it to someone (whom, I don’t know, but recording noises is always good so you can figure them out).

I did tried to think about anything that could cause this, but no luck. It happened whether or not I was watching TV, if the heat was running (to rule out furnace noise), there are no pipes behind the wall, it wasn’t the sound of an animal. I took the pictures of my wall with no luck. I talked to my neighbor on the other side of my wall, but he didn’t hear anything. It wasn’t happening in any other room in the house, just the living room and just on the back wall. I simply couldn’t figure it out, and every web search I did turned up blank. The people that had similar issues either figured it out that it was pipes, wind or traffic (none of which applied to me) or never said what it was. I had a very mild concern it was electric, but it wasn’t a hum and I didn’t smell ozone. It was something vibrating.

Last night, I finally figured it out, mainly out of frustration.

After hearing the noise off and on ALL DAY, I ended up just turning off my TV, having given up. I also turned off all the lights; maybe it was electric-related. So there I am, sitting in the dark, working on my laptop, when it happened again. I got up, but by the time I took the two steps to the wall, it had stopped. But I heard something else. My cable box was running hard. At least the fan was (which is weird since I haven’t watched TV since Sunday). I unplugged it, and I knew, I just knew that was the cause. I went to bed.

Today I’ve been playing video games (The Bard’s Tale IV!) for a few hours and now listening to Art Bell on TuneIn Radio and haven’t heard one vibration. I’m gonna give it a few more days then plug that sucker back in and see if it starts up again as I suspect it will.

As far as what’s vibrating, I’m thinking it’s either the box itself or it’s effecting something on my entertainment center and the acoustics are fucking me up.

But holy shit. This was rage inducing.

Dig this cover.

Million dollar idea being ignored.

So I posted this on Twitter a while back and even tagged the respective parties, but no one bit. Which I just don’t understand why not, since this idea is pretty damn good if I don’t say so myself, and more than doable.

When I’m cooking, cleaning, or dicking around at home, I usually throw on Law & Order: SVU because it’s one of those shows that provides perfect background noise and is procedural enough that you can jump in at any time and have no problem figuring out what’s going on. The episode which gave me this idea is one where an old partner of Tutola’s (Ice T) showed up and they worked a case together. I got to thinking…

Hear me out. What if another partner of Tutola showed up named…oh, I don’t know, let’s say Detective Peretti. And Peretti needed Tutola’s help in finding an old drug kingpin from their past who is now suspected of rape. We’ll call this guy…hmm…Nino Brown.

While Tutola and Peretti are on the hunt for Brown, they run into their old boss, Stone, who gives them a hand.

The parts will naturally be played by:

  • Peretti – Judd Nelson
  • Brown – Wesley Snipes
  • Stone – Mario Van Peebles

How awesome would it be to have a mini-New Jack City reunion on Law & Order: SVU? And it’s more than doable. I’m quite sure you can get these actors reasonably for one episode. Maybe even work in Pookie (Chris Rock) somehow.

Okay, maybe tens of dollars idea being ignored, but still.

I am my brother’s keeper.

The irony.

I still have a home phone. I know more and more people are dropping their home phones for their cellulars, but I love having the option having a throwaway number that I can access. I only use it when I fill out credit card applications/loans/contests, etc. Basically anything that will sell my phone number to the highest bidder will get my home phone. I check the messages only to see if I won a contest because no creditors are going to call me. 98% of my messages are spam/scams, 1% is my electric company telling me there’s a power cycle, and 1% is wrong numbers.

Thursday I checked my messages for the first time in weeks and was pleased to see there were only two. However, both were from the same person, and both were pretty aggressive in nature. It was a collection company/law firm threatening that they had tried to reach me “multiple times” and if I didn’t call back within 24 hours, legal action would be taken. Okay, scammers. Thank you for leaving your number. I always take delight in fucking with these shits when I’m having a bad day or week, or just a bad minute.

So I did my due diligence and looked up the company and found they were legit (but the…reviews I guess….stuff I read said this company — the name is slipping me right now — are big assholes).

One thing I thought was very odd is in neither message did they say my name, they only left a case number. Okay, seems legit.

So I called them on Friday.

“Hello, this is Rosenberg and Associates, how can I help you?”

“Yeah, you guys keep calling this number. Who are you looking for?”

“Okay, sir, what’s your name?”

“Here is my case number,” I gave them the case number.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to turn to page two on the document…”

“I don’t have a document. Just a case number,” I said.

“What’s your name?”

I gave him the case number. “What’s the name on the case?”

“Look, you called me, what’s your name?” He was getting annoyed. I was silently laughing.

“Yeah, I’m returning your call. You shouldn’t need my name. It should be on the case. I have the case number. What’s the name of who you were looking for?”

Seriously, there is no reason, none at all, why I would need to give him my name. Not only am I legally obligated to (I checked; it says right on the FCC website not to give out personal info – and fuck Ajit Pai regardless), but this still felt like a scam so I was taking glee in taking up this guy’s time.

He was already exasperated with me. “I don’t see why you have to be so combative. I’m just asking for your name. You called us. We’re a law firm.”

Yeah, no doubt a law firm in a strip mall, and fuck me for thinking of that after I hung up the phone.

“So you leave me a threatening message, then complain about me being combative when I won’t give you personal info? If the name of the person you are trying to reach isn’t on that case of the number I gave you, it’s either a scam amateur hour over there.”

“You’re being combative. I’m just asking for your na…”

“And I’m not going to give it. Stop fucking calling me. You don’t even know the name of the person you’re supposed to be calling.”

He finally blurted out a name of someone I knew.

“See? That wasn’t so hard. I don’t even know who the fuck that is.”

“You called us being all combative. You have a nice…”

“Oh fuck off, douche,” and I hung up before he could because that’s a victory and I don’t care.

Honestly, fuck bill collectors and their shit tactics. I haven’t had to deal with them in probably two decades, but I’ll be damned if I’ll give them any info of people I know.

I’m kind of hoping they call back. I really want to drop that strip mall line. And honestly, the irony of this asshole complaining that I’m being combative after they leave me shitty messages.

Unrelated video. Just dig the creepiness of this. I swear, these Outrun artists really put out great videos. And why is it that pictures of murdery newspaper headlines and older, dirty photos really creep me out? Like, the beginning of Law & Order (regular or SVU), those pictures they show, some of them are really creepy.


Parents don’t deserve special treatment.

At what point in society did parents start getting special treatment, like having a kid is something unheard of?

For example, parking spaces. First it started with a few slots towards the front for pregnant women, but now it’s turned into parents with little ones (a term which makes me want to puke every time I hear it for some reason). I mean, are you fucking kidding me with this? I can kinda see the pregnant woman thing. They might be having a hard time getting around, and my fat ass is just lazy, so I can use the exercise. But spots for parents with kids? Oh get the fuck out of here. Harris Teeter is a culprit that comes to mind. Hell, as much as I love that store, its parking lot is a smorgasbord of special needs parking. You have handicap (naturally, no issue here), some spots for vets (torn on this), and parents with kids. All told, I think there’s like 12 spots being eaten up. This is ridiculous.

But Harris Teeter’s parking spots isn’t what set this off. It’s what happened at the airport last week. I was heading to Denver for work and flying out on Southwest. I know the drill with Southwest. It’s a cattle call, and I’m cool with it. However, Southwest now allows you to pay extra up to 36 hours before your flight for a better place in line; something I always do because my fat ass wants an aisle or window. (For the record, I’ve always been like this, though. I just hate people sitting near me.)

Anyway, they boarded the As first. (How does one become an A? Fly a lot??), and I was B08, so I was feeling pretty good. But wait! Before they call the Bs, they call up the parents with kids six and under. Wait, what? Are you fucking kidding me here? I turn to see at least five fucking parents and their crotch goblins waiting to get on the plane. So let me get this straight, I paid extra to get a better seat and because someone does something THAT IS NOT EVEN THAT FUCKING SPECIAL, they get to pass me up for free. Just…just fuck that shit. I mean, military in uniform, that’s fine. Those folks can literally be dead over some bullshit in a day or two, so by all means, get that window seat.

You know, this would have bothered me anyway because it’s serious bullshit, but what really, truly bothered me is my sister heard one of the mothers tell her kid that she, “…is six today.” So she obviously lied, and told her daughter to lie. I mean, I don’t necessarily blame her for seating position and all, but it doesn’t mean I don’t hope that if she wants another kid she finds out she’s sterile. She’s being a cock with one child, I can’t even imagine how she’ll act with two.

I got an aisle seat anyway, but fuck you parents who think you deserve something extra for having unprotected sex. You aren’t special. You’re just entitled douches. I’ve honestly never seen anyone so fucking entitled then some of you parents out there, and I’m including millennials in this.

I will now park in the ‘parents with kids’ spot with absolutely no hesitation. You can fuck right off if you think I’m following that arbitrary rule any longer.

People think I hate kids. I don’t. It’s you asshole parents I can’t deal with.

This video has nothing to do with anything. I just can’t stop listening to this album. It’s terrific.