I love our friends across the pond…

A friend of mine who lives in London sent me this today.

It was in the London News Review.

A Letter To The Terrorists, From London
July 07, 2005

What the fuck do you think you’re doing?

This is London. We’ve dealt with your sort before. You don’t try and pull this on us.

Do you have any idea how many times our city has been attacked? Whatever you’re trying to do, it’s not going to work.

All you’ve done is end some of our lives, and ruin some more. How is that going to help you? You don’t get rewarded for this kind of crap.

And if, as your MO indicates, you’re an al-Qaeda group, then you’re out of your tiny minds.

Because if this is a message to Tony Blair, we’ve got news for you. We don’t much like our government ourselves, or what they do in our name. But, listen very clearly. We’ll deal with that ourselves. We’re London, and we’ve got our own way of doing things, and it doesn’t involve tossing bombs around where innocent people are going about their lives.

And that’s because we’re better than you. Everyone is better than you. Our city works. We rather like it. And we’re going to go about our lives. We’re going to take care of the lives you ruined. And then we’re going to work. And we’re going down the pub.

So you can pack up your bombs, put them in your arseholes, and get the fuck out of our city.

Thanks for the letter, R.

Fuck the terrorist pussies.

God bless the internet…

This is an old letter that floats around the internet, but everytime I read it, I still giggle like a school girl because it perfectly shows the hypocrisy of the church.

Whether or not it was actually sent to Dr. Laura is not proven, but the points are valid. Here is a great site that points to the actual excerpts.

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

God bless the internet.

Hold me Spock…

So I went to a scifi convention today, Star Trek style.

Wait. Wait. Wait a damn minute.

I didn’t go as a fan. I went as a favor.

My buddy had a table there, and he asked if I could hang out so he could run and get drinks, get food, go to the bathroom, that sort of thing. And so I said what the hell. I had nothing else going on and I figured it would be an experience.

Oh, and I was not disappointed.

There is only one combination of words to describe a scifi convention.

Train. Wreck.

Oh man, I had seen the documentary Trekkies, but I had no idea. None, whatsoever.

I go to horror conventions, but they are nothing like the dorkiness that is a scifi convention. If nothing else, I feel MUCH better about myself today.

That said, I had a great time. I am a people watcher by nature. I love watching people and making fun of them. And what better place to do it (other than a furry convention. I’d say cosplay, too, but a lot of those chicks are smoking hot, so I am less likely to poke fun).

Is it right that I had a good time making fun of others? Probably not.

Does the fact that I spent most of the day laughing my ass off? Absolutely not.

Hey, if I ever suffer a massive head injury and dress up like a klingon, you damn well better laugh at me. I’d deserve it.

Oh, and the most interesting thing being sold at this convention? The fan fiction with spock and kirk on the cover.

In a lovers embrace.

Priceless…

1 Ticket to see Def Leppard and Brian Adams – $48.00
The cost of gas to and from the show – $8.00
1 Beer and hotdog – $12.00

Getting out of the parking lot in under 5 minutes – Priceless

Sometimes it pays to leave when Brian Adams comes on stage.

Gunter glieben glauchen globen…

All right
I got something to say
Yeah, it’s better to burn out
Yeah, than fade away
All right
Ow
Gonna start a fire
C’mon!
Rise up! gather round
Rock this place to the ground
Burn it up let’s go for broke
Watch the night go up in smoke
Rock on! Rock on!
Drive me crazier, no serenade
No fire brigade, just-a pyromania
C’mon
What do you want?
What do you want?
I want rock’n’roll
Yes I do
Long live rock’n’roll

The Def Leppard concert is tonight. And I’m going. Yes.

The only downside is they are touring with Brian Adams. Ug. But, fortunately, Leppard is opening, so I can leave as soon as their set is done. I won’t have to stick around and I can beat the traffic.

Good times.

(Now I wait for the inevitable comment on my music from shiki. 🙂 )