I know a cure for that…

About 10 years ago or so, I had two roommates, Jeff and Jason.  Jeff was a great roommate.  We were great friends (still are), and Jason was, well, Jason was comic relief (until, of course, he stopped paying his share of the bills).

One of the things that was a source of boundless entertainment was Jason’s girlfriend.  Or, rather, the way she treated him and the way he made excuses for her.  And it was an endless supply of laughs.

One day, Jason was telling some story or another of something she had said or did to him.

“What in the fuck is wrong with her?” I asked.

“She has seasonal depression,” he said.  Making yet another excuse for the way she treated him.

“Seasonal depression?  What the fuck is that?”

“She gets depressed in the winter because it gets darker earlier.  Or because there isn’t as much light as there is in the summer or something.”

“I know a cure for that,” Jeff offered.

“What?” asked Jason, interested.

“Buy that bitch a lightbulb.”

I couldn’t have planned that one…

Stole this from Freak, who got it from someone else.

Open up your jukebox, put that shit on mix and answer the questions.

How does the world see you?
Love is the Key (Blue Lagoon)
That’s right, baby.

Will I have a happy life?
Pieces of Drama (Everlast)
Not if I can help it.

What do my friends really think of me?
Waiting for You (Seal)
They all want a piece of Stewie

What do people secretly think of me?
Ciel (Eric Johnson)
I have no fucking clue. The song is a mellow Spanish sounding tune. Maybe they think I’m a mellow Don Quixote. Or something.

How can I be happy?
Girl (Tori Amos)
Wow. Didn’t see that one coming.

What should I do with my life?
Storms (Fleetwood Mac)
Be a weather man? Be a rain maker? Help me out, people!

What is some good advice for me?
Press Play (Stone Temple Pilots)
Well, I am easily turned on.

How will I be remembered?
Sex Crime (Eurythmics)
Ha! I couldn’t have planned that one.

What do I think my current theme song is?
Sweet Surrender (Sarah willyoumarryme McLachlan)
Not buying that one.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Flat on the Floor (Nickleback)
Apparently my friends are assholes. >:-(

What song will play at my funeral?
Porno Creep (Korn)
Ha! Back on track!

What type of men/women do you like?
Hey Jude (The Beatles)
Huh. I’m guessing women that don’t let me down.

What is my day going to be like?
In the Middle (Dokken)
Not bad, not good. I can dig that

Overall, I dig it.

Her and Freak did some lesbian action…

I’ve met a few people online in “real life”, and it’s always a little weird becuase you have no idea what to expect–last night was no exception.

Last night, Freak and I met fellow blogger, Norman, for a few beers. Norman was in our area this week for some top secret stuff–I never did quite understand what she actually does for a living–and we met up in a bar a couple of blocks from where I work.

Honestly, as I told Norman, I probably would not have gone if Freak hadn’t. My previous contact with Norm has been limited to my comments on her blog, hers on mine and maybe three or five emails. I think her and Freak had exchanged quite a few more emails, so I just went along for the hell of it. I called my buddy, who works in the area, and asked him if he wanted to join us. I figured if Norm got on my damn nerves, at least I could catch up with him as we don’t usually get a chance for beers but once every couple months.

From her blog alone, because that’s all I really had to go on, I made an impression of Norm. She was pretty much what I expected, but not. It’s weird. I don’t rightly know what I expected, because, like I said, you never really can tell. I’ve been told I am exactly the way in real life as I am online, and I can dig that. Norm was too, but funnier. And, contrary to what she says, she does not look like her pictures–at least the ones she posted on her blog. She looks wiser in real life, for lack of a better term.

Anyway, I had a great time. We talked about her ghost (in which I told her she should get out of the damn house. If the house is telling you to get out, you get the fuck out). We talked about movies. Her and Freak did some lesbian action. We talked about trying to find a damn ashtray. Well, Norm and I talked about that. I came through and provided (’cause I’m Superman).

All in all, I had a good time. I don’t know about Norm. She seemed to be enjoying herself. And, by the looks of it, if she wasn’t enjoying our company, she made plenty of friends at the bar. That girl talks to everyone. One woman promised her a drink next time she came back, and another came to the table to say it was nice meeting her. WTF? I didn’t even see her talk to that second lady.

Here are the slew of pics I took.

Here’s freak and Norm.

ZOMG THE GHOST FOLLOWED NORM!

Here’s freak, Norm and me.

Do NOT muss my hair.

I’ll tell you how many…

Got an email this morning from a co-worker.

He said he saw my buddy Roman and I on the news that morning.

I deleted the email. Whatever.

He called me about an hour later and said, “You think I was lying?”

Come to find out, there was a blurb on this morning’s news about DC’s smoking ban that went into effect today, and they had some footage of people smoking.

And, yeah, I’m on there.

Since I didn’t sign a release, I think I’m gonna sue.

How many people get to be on TV on their birthday?

I’ll tell you how many: Only the cool ones.

ZOMG SMOKERS!

(special thanks to shiki for grabbing the video for me)