I’m very sorry the government taxes their tips, that’s fucked up. That
ain’t my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many
groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you
ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn’t do that,
I’ll sign it, put it to a vote, I’ll vote for it, but what I won’t do
is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for
that: learn to fuckin’ type, ’cause if you’re expecting me to help out
with the rent you’re in for a big fuckin’ surprise.

That delightful diatribe is spoken by Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi) in Resevoir Dogs.

Now, I’m not going to go off on a rant on why waiters and waitresses don’t deserve tips, I think they do.  I tip, and when the service is good or, as my roommate will confirm, if cleavage is thrown my way regardless of service, I tip very well.

But tonight I stopped at Rita’s, a local joint that makes gelatis, and I noticed a tip jar.  What the fuck?  A tip jar for what?  Taking my money, walking two steps, pulling a lever and giving me a cup of goodness?

Fuck.  That.

At what point in time did tip jars become the norm everyplace from coffee shops to the pretzel place?  What exactly is the pretzel guy doing that makes him deserve a tip, other than handing me a pretzel?

I noticed a tip jar at Dunkin Donuts on Sunday.  I’m supposed to tip someone for taking my money, turning around and giving me a donut.


Fuck. That.

What I do outside your house…

I love taking pictures. 95% of the pictures I take completely suck, but sometimes (like the remaining 5%) the pics come out pretty good.

On the flipside, though, 99% of the time I rely on someone taking a picture of me, the pictures turn out exactly like I don’t want them too.

It’s not the person taking the picture, though. They are usually using my camera and are not familiar with it, so I can’t blame them.

But the 1% of the time they work, they really, really work.

On the set of Fear of Clowns 2, Kevin (the director/writer) took the following pics (amongst others).

These rocked.

Janet Jackson look out! What I do outside your house.

I need to get back on the horse…

I need to get back on the horse and start blogging regularly again. I don’t know why I’ve slowed down, I just know I need to pick it back up.

And, to make it worse, I’m giving you fluff, today. I’ll try to make it entertaining.

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:

  1. Sub maker
  2. Pizza maker
  3. Retail manager
  4. IT

Four movies you’d watch over and over:

  1. Heat
  2. Dawn of the Dead (’78 version, bitches)
  3. American History X
  4. Chasing Amy (although I tend to fast forward that scene at the end. Ugh.)

Four places you have lived:

  1. Dumfries, Va. (sucked)
  2. White Plains, Md. (sucked)
  3. Glen Burnie, Md. (sucked)
  4. Annapolis, Md. (not so sucky, but it’s east coast, so it sucks)

Four TV shows you love to watch:

  1. The Office
  2. My Name is Earl
  3. Ghost Hunters
  4. N.C.I.S.

Four places you’ve been on vacation:

  1. Russia
  2. Germany
  3. Pennsylvania
  4. Virginia (Williamsburg)

Four websites you visit daily:


Four favorite foods and places:

  1. Some sidewalk restaurant in Vladimir, Russia. Had the best Georgian sauce I’ve ever had. Ate there about every night when I was there.
  2. Pho Bo Vein from any good Vietnamese joint.
  3. A porterhouse steak from “The Library” somewhere in Jersey. I’ve only ate there once, and I couldn’t tell you how to get there, but it was, hands down, the best steak I have ever had. Ever.
  4. Totino’s pizza from any given grocery store. That’s the white trash in me coming out.

Four places I’d rather be right now:

  1. Oddly, my aunt and uncle’s place in Pennsylvania. It’s a laid-back lifestyle up there, and I miss it sometimes.
  2. The southwest United States. I’ve never been, and I’ve always wanted to go.
  3. A cafe in Paris. Not for the romantic part. Screw that. I just love that city.
  4. Russia. Fuck me if that wasn’t one of the best vacations I ever had.

Thanks to The Lesley for the tag.