One night, gosh probably almost 20 years ago, I needed to go the store to pick up something and Joy asked me to get her a pack of smokes. I said sure, but then she said I’d probably screw it up, so she’d go with me.


We got in my truck and pulled out of the driveway, and I lit up as we headed down the street.

“You want one of mine until you get yours?” I asked.

“No, that’s okay.”

That wasn’t odd. Joy smoke(d) menthols and I smoked non. Generally you prefer what you smoke, so I didn’t think anything of it. What was odd, though was she kept looking at me.


“What what?”

“Why do you keep staring at me?”

“Oh, no reason. You growing your beard out?”

“What? No. Stop being retarded,” I said as I took a drag from my cigarette and BAM! The damn thing exploded, damn near causing me to run off the road.

Joy was howling with laughter. When she caught her breath, she said, “What happened? What’s wrong with your cigarette.” She started laughing again.

“Shut up!” I said. I tossed the useless smoke out the window and lit another one, ignoring my still giggling sister.


I damn near really ran off the road that time. The first one was bad enough, but no way I expected another loaded cigarette.

Joy was laughing so hard she couldn’t breath.

“You are such a bitch! I HATE YOU!” I screamed as I tossed both the newly exploded cigarette and the rest of my pack out the window. “GOD!”

“Wait, no! Don’t throw them out!” She screamed between bouts of laughter.

“It’s too late, why?”

“Because I only loaded two.”

“You are so buying me a pack of cigarettes when we get to WAWA.”

“It’s worth it.”

Yeah, it probably was.


I love my family…

My mom’s been real sick the past two weeks (including a week long hospital visit the week I was in San Fran — a whole ‘nother blog). Today she had a doctor’s appointment to see what’s up. I saw Joy had called me today while I was at work, so I called her on the way home to see what the word was.



“I saw you called earlier. What’s up?” I asked.

“I took your mother to the doctor’s today.”

“Yeah, I know. What did they say?”

“You’re going to have to call me back, my show is on.” I don’t even know what her show is.

“What? So TV is more important than your mother?”

“When you call at an inconvenient time, it is.” Click.

I love my family.

She still has it to this day…

When we were kids, Joy had this teddy bear, Sugar, that she took everywhere until she was like 18. She has it to this day.

One Thanksgiving, we were up at grandmas and my uncle Les came strolling into the room, grasping Sugar by the arm. I immediately smiled, as I knew good times were about to be had.

“Whose is this?” He asked, swinging Sugar around in a loop-de-loo.

“THAT’S MINE!” Joy screamed, running over to save her beloved bear.

“Is it? What’s it’s name?”

“Sugar. Give him back.”

“Sugar, that’s a pretty name. Let me ask you something…can Sugar fly?”

With that, he flung the bear to the open window across the room. It was magical, Sugar tumbling through the air, all slow motion like, headed towards certain teddy bear death once it flew out the window into the bustling traffic two stories below.

Joy watched in horror, mouth agape, too stunned to even wimper as her Sugar headed towards the window, knowing she could do nothing about it.

The bear flew through the window frame…and bounced off the screen.

Joy gave Les a look of daggers as she ran over and picked Sugar off the floor, hugging him to her chest and stomping out of the room.

I gave Les a look of pure worship.

There’s a reason he’s my favorite uncle.