Abe Lincoln’s boner.

So a few months ago my buddy James tells me he’s going to be DC in July, and if I was interested in meeting up. Saying yes was a nobrainer. While I had never met James in real life, we had done enough bullshitting on AIM and forums for me to consider him a friend.

Yes, I am aware how dorky that is. Completely aware. But I have met some solid people on the internets, and it’s surprisingly getting less embarrassing to explain how I know someone.  😆

Anywho, Friday was the big day, and via text messages (I hate talking on the phone to people I know in real life, so talking to someone I’d not yet met was pretty much out of the question — I have a feeling James felt the same way) we arranged a time in a place to meet — The Museum of American History. More text messages were required once we arrived there, though, as apparently the museum has multiple entrances. Go figure.

I generally don’t like meeting new people, especially people I generally talk to online because many times their real life persona is completely different from their online persona. Fortunately, James was pretty much the same in person as he was online, and his fiance, Monica, was as much as smart ass him, which made for a pretty pleasant day of making fun of everyone and everything we saw.

As mentioned, the first stop today was the museum (which was a minor disappointment as they opened earlier than planned after their remodeling, and many of their exhibits aren’t up yet — including one James specifically wanted to see). I think Lincoln’s boner made it up for it a little, though. I can’t remember if it was James or Monica that pointed it out.


You see that? No?


Yeah. Something tell me old Abe is chopping wood for his new “special room” for the ladies he kidnaps and getting a little excited about it.

One of the cooler exhibits in the museum (since their pop culture exhibit is currently So Lame) is the old propaganda posters they have on display, including:


I like how the flash placement in that one. It’s as if Hitler is full of sunshine and happiness, and him being your co-pilot wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.

Remember the old Indian that cried when you littered? We saw his pet eagle:


Yeah. Pretty fucking tacky.

After we left the museum, we aimlessly wandered from one monument to another, partly bullshitting, partly sightseeing. I didn’t take a bunch of pictures (I mean, really, I work in this city), but this guy was begging for one:


I still can’t figure out if the guy is an annoying douche, or a genius. I don’t know what people did to entertain him that day, but I do know a couple of girls were dancing with him when we left, so I have to give him some credit.

We ended up walking around for a couple hours, eventually ending up in the cafeteria of The Museum of Natural History to wind down. Over all, a pretty damn good time. I am a little sad that I didn’t where my Shakespeare threadless t-shirt like James did, but that might have been a little gay.


That there is James and I. The first thing he said to me when he saw me was (in reference to a text message), “Yeah, that hat is pretty stupid.” I love that damn hat, stupid or not. 😡


That there is James, Monica and myself. When I asked Monica if she minded if I put this pic on my blog, she replied with the funniest thing I heard all day. I cannot repeat it here, but I have since repeated it to three of my friends, all of which had the same reaction I did: Shock, then laughter.

Good times.

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Great times, BFF!

And I'm pretty sure it was Monica that pointed out Honest Abe's Dong.

Also, the hate is pretty stupid.


Your spelling is stupid!




Are you sure that's Lincoln? It looks a lot like Nicolas Cage. I think it's secretly him.

I am disappointed in you for not punching the “Entertain me” guy. What a douchebag.


That hat is really fucking stupid, but sadly James you missed out on AR's worst quality. His taste in shirts. Next time, require him to where one of his buttoned shirts. It's just awful.

And yes, I am still jealous.


It was in the Lincoln area. But it might have been Cage portraying Lincoln.


James did comment on the lack of a stupid shirt. I take your hat comment with a grain of salt, cosplayer.


Nicolas Cage has played worse roles than posing for a picture of Abe Lincoln with a boner.


heh. i like the photo of the three of you. kudos to James for that t-shirt. 🙂


Thanks! James even got complimented on it by a guy hanging out with emos. lol.