What an assclown…

This blog was originally going to be about the time I was accused of touching someone inappropriately on the school bus when I was in high school.

But then I realized that there needed to be a back story to the fuckwad Vice Principle who accused me of doing said touching.

So that’s what this blog is going to be about. Said fuckwad.

I’ve always had a smart mouth.

Back when I was in school, my mouth was always getting me in trouble with both teachers and students alike. I was either getting my ass kicked for smarting off to someone I shouldn’t have, or in the office for smarting off to a teacher. And because of the latter, the Principle was quite familiar with me.

In 7th grade (which is middle school down my way), I had an English teacher named Mr. Stup. This guy was a cocksucker. I can’t tell you all the reasons I didn’t like him as it’s been over 20 years, but I distinctly remember not only did I not like him in middle school, I didn’t like him in high school, either, when he was the Vice Principle (but, like I said, that’s part of a future story).

Anyway, if I remember correctly, Stup was a Star Trek fan. And after recently reading The Trouble With Tribbles, he told us we would be lucky to watch the Star Trek version of it later on that week.


I hate Star Trek. Always have (no offense Mero, I know there are fans, but I am not one of them).

So the day came, the TV was rolled in, the lights were dimmed and the Enterprise was launched.

And I broke out a book and started reading during the show—which, ironically enough, was a Dr. Who book. I have no idea why I remember that.

I was pretty into the book when I gradually noticed someone standing by my desk. It was Stup.

“What do you think you are doing?” He asked. He sounded a little pissed.

I looked at the book, looked back at him and said, “Reading.”

“Why aren’t you watching the movie?”

“Because Star Trek sucks.”

Oh my. His face twisted and contorted. I believe I struck a nerve.

“Well,” he said, apparently barely containing his anger, “you can just read that out in the hallway.”

“Fine with me,” I said. “More light out there anyway.” And I gathered up my shit.

“Leave your books and get out.”

By my books, I guess he meant my school books because he didn’t say anything when I took my Dr. Who vs. The Loch Ness Monster with me and left.

The shitter about sitting in the hall is the Principal always wandered it, on the look out for kids who got kicked out of class. Like me. And sure as shit, he showed up not 10 minutes after my exiting the class.

“Stewie! What a surprise! And how is it that you are sitting out here today?” He asked. He was always happy. I liked him.

“I got kicked out of class.” I told him.


“For reading.”

“Why were you kicked out of class for reading?”

“Because they are watching a stupid Star Trek show and I was reading and Mr. Stup asked me why I wasn’t watching Star Trek and I told him because Star Trek sucks and he told me to get out of his class.”

The principal smiled.

“Well,” he said, “I don’t really know if you did anything wrong. I think I’m just going to pretend I didn’t see you out here today.”

“Thanks, Mr. Leonard.”

And he walked off.

Stup got me after the movie was over. I can’t remember if he said anything to me about reading or not. Like I gave a shit.

Think about it: An English teacher kicks me out of class for reading a book instead of watching TV.

What an assclown.