Chris Meloni is a great actor. He does a great job on “Law & Order: SVU” as Det. Stabler, and I think the show would suffer without him.

However, as I was telling Lesley last night, watching him on SVU gets damn distracting sometimes because I keep expecting him to strip naked as he was so fond of doing when he played Chris Keller on “OZ.” Not something I particularly want to see.

Of course I wouldn’t have any problems if Kathryn Erbe from “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” stripped naked like she did on “OZ,” but that’s neither here nor there.

Anyway, I went to grab some lunch today from the awesome Red Hot & Blue and while I was waiting to be seated, I noticed the plaque that had the franchise owner’s name.

Chris Keller.


So if it wasn’t bad enough that I’m expecting Keller to get naked on Law & Order, I have to worry about him putting his manhood all over my ribs when I go out to eat.

Don’t expect me to order extra sauce anytime soon.

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Gives a whole new meaning to “pulled pork” now, doesn’t it?

I don’t usually watch the “Law & Order: SUV” but I should start. Especially if Chris Meloni is going to take off his clothes and run a barbeque establishment in Maryland. Yum yum, gimme some!

And I’d be cool with Kathryn Erbe stripping naked too. She’s a bit of a biscuit, methinks. However, my reason for watching that show is the one and only Vincent D’Onofrio. I cry when it’s an episode that he’s not on.


There’s just something about Erbe that is incredibly sexy.

Can’t put my finger on it (though I think I want to).

D’Onofrio, on the other hand, just doesn’t do it for me.

And I will scratch pulled pork from my menu now, too, methinks.


Hmmm… maybe Erbe and D’onofrio together… I think I would mind getting a cross-examination from the both of them. If you know what I mean. And I believe you do.


I meant to say “I think I would NOT mind”

Me am smart.


If this is a menu, I’d like to substitute D’onofrio with any one of the female prosecutors from Law & Order (the original).

I’m not picky.

Well, I am, but any one of those ladies will do me.

I hope.


If you substitute him with either Jill Hennesy or Angie Harmon, I may ask to get in on that combo platter.

Pass the BBQ sauce. And the wet-naps.


Gotta go with Jill. While both are equally hot, and Angie has that husky “fuck me now” voice, there’s something about Jill that edges Angie.

I’m gonna forward these comments to the powers that be over at NBC.

Maybe I can make this happen.


I’ve never liked Melloni, except in Wet Hot American Summer. He was golden in that. He’s a poor man’s Elias Koteas, IMO.





You choose one movie out of the guys career to sight and you pick Fallen?

What about the movies that are good that he has been in? What about Exotica or Some Kind of Wonderful?


I have to worry about him putting his manhood all over my ribs when I go out to eat.

There’s something just inherently odd about the image that conjures up in my mind… I think because I think of your actual ribs, as opposed to your meal.

And that just seems like a fetish that deserves its own video.


Thanks a helluva lot, Ace. I never once thought of it that way, but now I am.


Between this and your accessorizing comment, I’m starting to wonder.


Ooh, manhood-on-ribs fetish porn! That gets me teh hot.