I went to the liquor store tonight to pick up some lottery tickets as my mother’s holiday gift. (The “dreaming of a white trash Christmas” joke has already been used by myself, so you are going to think of something else).
As I was walking through the parking lot, I heard a father yelling at his kids because they were running through the parking lot acting like the little bastards most kids are.
He finally yelled, “Knock it off! I don’t want you getting hit by a car on Christmas Eve!”
Right on pops! Any other time is fine, just not Christmas Eve. I can dig that. You spend all that money on gifts, only to either have them go to waste, or deal with the pain in the ass of returning them. I hear you!
And don’t think for a second that was sarcasm.
Happy holidays, everybody!