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Lesley

Would it shock you to know that I’ve been a card-carrying member of the Heartless Bitches for eight years? I was responsible for choosing one of the Sappy Sites of the Week once, too. Seriously, does that just shock the hell out of you or what, now that you know that about me? Sorry to hear that you used to be that assclown. It could be worse though — you could still be that assclown. Oh, the horror! Nice Guys ain’t what they’re cracked up to be. Plus they seem to quickly devolve into bitchbabies and I will pass on… Read more »

Ace

I’m sort of a nice guy. But I’m not insecure. So I’m like stuck in the lousy middle of loserdom, unable to be a revolting sap or an arrogant prick. Both, and yet neither.

At least I’m so secure in my personality that I’ve invented an entire second one.

Stewie

Lesley – that does not surprise me at all. In fact, I respect you more because of it.

Ace – what is this second personality?

Lesley

Second personality? Interesting.

Will the real Ace Rimrat please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

Freak Magnet

I want to be a member of the I’m Not Bitter Club.

Yeah.

Stewie

Is that the tone of a bitter woman?

Ace

Ace – what is this second personality?

Mookie J. Monkey!

Monkey? Munkee? Munkee!