I want to live in a renter free zone.

I don’t like renters.

I mean, I was a renter once. I rented an apartment when I first moved out of my parent’s house, then after I moved out of that, I rented a duplex not far from where I bought the house I’m living in now.

But as far as in my neighborhood, I don’t like renters. I asked my HOA if they could make ti a bylaw that no home owner in the association can rent out their house, but apparently that’s against the law (which is bullshit if you ask me).

One reason I don’t like renters is they don’t care about the people that own the houses around them because why would they? They have no vested interest in the neighborhood, so why bother giving a shit about it. For example, the renters that lived directly across the street from me (that moved out this weekend, THANK FUCKING GOD) must have had eight people living in three bedroom house. And I’m pretty sure all of those fuckers had a vehicle, which of course means all the cars won’t fit in their driveway.

Now, I only have one car, and I park my car in my driveway, so that leaves a spot open in front of my house which they would often use. I freely and fully admit that it shouldn’t bother me that someone parks in a spot that I don’t use. I know, know, know I’m being completely irrational when I say it bothers me. But it does. That’s the front of my fucking house. I don’t want someone’s car there unless it’s either mine or one of my friends. But since I know it’s irrational, I didn’t say anything, it just annoyed the fuck out of me. However, what was really fucked up was the time one of their goddamn friends parked in front of my house and their goddamn car was going over into my driveway. They had to do this because my neighbor apparently didn’t leave enough room for them. Unfortunately for me they had parked and left.

Or the other renters (who are also gone, THANK GOD) three doors down who’s fucking asshole friends would park in front of my mailbox. There is literally barely enough room for a car in that spot, and when someone parks there, it completely blocks both my mailbox and my neighbor’s. You know who never parks there? HOMEOWNERS AND THEIR FRIENDS. Only asshole renters and their asshole friends do this shit.


Fortunately, the house directly across the street from me is going to be sold by the bank and not rented again, but the house three doors down, new people moved in just this week. Apparently there’s going to be at least four (two couples) and maybe kids (or maybe not). It will be hard to beat the last renters — seriously, who the fuck installs a goddamn hot tub in the house they are renting? — but I’m keeping my expectations low. That particular house doesn’t have a very good history with the people who have lived in it.

On the bright side, I may be joining my HOA next month. I was going to do it this month, and I went to the meeting with the intent on doing so, but there were some complaints from some home owners that ate into time and I had to leave earlier than expected because a friend was popping by. So hopefully after September, I’ll have some really good stories to tell about the new shit I’ll be dealing with.

I’ll sign off with a couple of Blu-ray and eBook deals below. If you can’t see them, that means you have adblock enabled. Disable it for this site and you’ll see some nice bargains every once in a while. (There are zero popups on this site, I promise.)

That eBook is written by Kristopher Ruffy, one of the many authors I got a chance to meet at the Scares That Care convention this year. Really cool guy. I picked up the physical copy of that Bigfoot book. I haven’t torn into it yet, but I like the synopsis, and right now it’s just $0.99!

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Kev Kango

It’s not like homeowners are all that much better–the douches next to me are prime examples. But now they’ve got a moving sign up…


True. I guess I’m fortunate that the neighbors that own around me are pretty awesome. It’s the renters that can go fuck themselves.