I am old.

Don’t let that title fool you. This isn’t going to be a post about how my body has started falling apart the moment I turned 40 (although it has). This is more of a piece on how something made me happy recently, and it’s ridiculous because I’m old. That something? A new vacuum cleaner.

For a while now, I’ve been thinking about replacing (or at least upgrading) my vacuum cleaner to a new one. My current one was pretty bad ass when I bought it. I know I got it on clearance because a newer model was coming out, but it was a spectacular deal for a damn decent vacuum. I think I paid like $40 for it, when it retailed for like $100. But that was like 10 years ago.

So, last Wednesday, Amazon this Hoover on sale for $65. I checked Camel Camel Camel, this great site that tells you Amazon price history (thanks, James!), to see if it was a good deal for real (and it was, it’s $100 right now), and then I ordered it. Expected delivery was today.

And here’s where the “I am old” part comes in. I actually looked forward to the new vacuum. The reviews were solid, and I know that my current one just doesn’t have the suction it should. I was eager to check it out. So eager, in fact, that every time I heard a stupid truck going by my house today, I went to the door. And when the post man finally drove up, I ran outside like a child eager to open his presents on Christmas day. I must be part ninja because when I came up to the postman’s jeep, I scared him. He goes, “You must be real excited about this Hover.”

“Uh…yeah.” I had nothing. Because his sarcasm was appreciated and pretty spot on. I was unnecessarily excited about a stupid vacuum cleaner.

I took the box, unpacked it, put the vacuum together, and proceeded to put it to the test. Now I vacuum about once a week anyway, and I just vacuumed a few days ago because I had dropped some chips, but holy shit, yeah, I was long overdue for a new one. This sucker showed a noticeable difference to my rug, and it was picking up far too much stuff for a rug that I had just vacuumed a few days prior.

But there’s no reason for being as excited as I was for a stupid vacuum cleaner. I have no excuse for it except I might be 70.

 

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Cool, can’t wait to bring some crew over to your house to dirty it up for you, so you can get to cleaning! PS: You can bring it over to my house and vacuum any time.