The irony.

I still have a home phone. I know more and more people are dropping their home phones for their cellulars, but I love having the option having a throwaway number that I can access. I only use it when I fill out credit card applications/loans/contests, etc. Basically anything that will sell my phone number to the highest bidder will get my home phone. I check the messages only to see if I won a contest because no creditors are going to call me. 98% of my messages are spam/scams, 1% is my electric company telling me there’s a power cycle, and 1% is wrong numbers.

Thursday I checked my messages for the first time in weeks and was pleased to see there were only two. However, both were from the same person, and both were pretty aggressive in nature. It was a collection company/law firm threatening that they had tried to reach me “multiple times” and if I didn’t call back within 24 hours, legal action would be taken. Okay, scammers. Thank you for leaving your number. I always take delight in fucking with these shits when I’m having a bad day or week, or just a bad minute.

So I did my due diligence and looked up the company and found they were legit (but the…reviews I guess….stuff I read said this company — the name is slipping me right now — are big assholes).

One thing I thought was very odd is in neither message did they say my name, they only left a case number. Okay, seems legit.

So I called them on Friday.

“Hello, this is Rosenberg and Associates, how can I help you?”

“Yeah, you guys keep calling this number. Who are you looking for?”

“Okay, sir, what’s your name?”

“Here is my case number,” I gave them the case number.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to turn to page two on the document…”

“I don’t have a document. Just a case number,” I said.

“What’s your name?”

I gave him the case number. “What’s the name on the case?”

“Look, you called me, what’s your name?” He was getting annoyed. I was silently laughing.

“Yeah, I’m returning your call. You shouldn’t need my name. It should be on the case. I have the case number. What’s the name of who you were looking for?”

Seriously, there is no reason, none at all, why I would need to give him my name. Not only am I legally obligated to (I checked; it says right on the FCC website not to give out personal info – and fuck Ajit Pai regardless), but this still felt like a scam so I was taking glee in taking up this guy’s time.

He was already exasperated with me. “I don’t see why you have to be so combative. I’m just asking for your name. You called us. We’re a law firm.”

Yeah, no doubt a law firm in a strip mall, and fuck me for thinking of that after I hung up the phone.

“So you leave me a threatening message, then complain about me being combative when I won’t give you personal info? If the name of the person you are trying to reach isn’t on that case of the number I gave you, it’s either a scam amateur hour over there.”

“You’re being combative. I’m just asking for your na…”

“And I’m not going to give it. Stop fucking calling me. You don’t even know the name of the person you’re supposed to be calling.”

He finally blurted out a name of someone I knew.

“See? That wasn’t so hard. I don’t even know who the fuck that is.”

“You called us being all combative. You have a nice…”

“Oh fuck off, douche,” and I hung up before he could because that’s a victory and I don’t care.

Honestly, fuck bill collectors and their shit tactics. I haven’t had to deal with them in probably two decades, but I’ll be damned if I’ll give them any info of people I know.

I’m kind of hoping they call back. I really want to drop that strip mall line. And honestly, the irony of this asshole complaining that I’m being combative after they leave me shitty messages.

Unrelated video. Just dig the creepiness of this. I swear, these Outrun artists really put out great videos. And why is it that pictures of murdery newspaper headlines and older, dirty photos really creep me out? Like, the beginning of Law & Order (regular or SVU), those pictures they show, some of them are really creepy.