Hey loser…

With Mother’s Day around the corner, I’m reminded of another story of my disfunctional family.

Many years ago (hell, probably close to 20), I had picked out a pretty damn good Mother’s Day card and little gift for my mom.  I thought it was pretty bad ass, myself.

Come Mother’s Day, I went downstairs to put my gift on the table for my mother to find, only to see this beautiful arrangement of flowers.  I mean, we’re talking a $50 bouquet here.  I thought to myself, “Damn, dad hooked mom up.”

About that time, my sister walked into the kitchen.

“Hey loser,” she said.  Her normal greeting to me.  Shit, it still is, now that I think about it.

“Shutup,” I replied.  My standard reply.  I’ve gotten much better with that one.

“Oh, how cute.  A knickknack and a card,” she said, referring to my gifts.  “That’s much better than what I got her.”

“What did you get her?”

“Just some flowers,” she smirked, nodding toward the table.

“Nuh uh!  Dad got her those!”

“Did he really?  Oh, look, there’s a card right there.”  She picked up the card in front of the vase.  “To mom.  From your loving daughter.”

“But you don’t even have a job!”  I yelled as I threw my measily gifts on the table and ran upstairs to the sounds of her laughter.

Well, my mom loved both her gifts, but I could tell from her reaction that she loved the flowers more.

Until, later on that day, one of the neighbors came by.

The neighbor asked my mother to tell my sister that she would appreciate it if she didn’t cut the flowers from her flowerbed.


My sister stole the flowers for my mom on Mother’s Day.

I guess, in its own way, its love.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out their, and here’s to hoping you don’t get stolen goods.

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I hope you don’t mind, but when you tell stories about your family and your upbringing, and I imagine it all in my head, the characters I’m imaging are very very “My Name is Earl.”

I’m just saying.


Holy shit, Lesley.

My father and I were laughing because Joy reminds us of my sister back in the day.


I am SO NOT surprised!!!



LOL! Great story.


Damn!! I would have LOVED to see that !!!! That is freaking hilarious!!




It’s Mother’s Day? Shit, I don’t have time for Mother’s Day. Can we postpone it ’til next year?


I’m competitive that way too with one of my brothers. Did you feel vindicated after discovering her secret?


Mother’s day was in March…how does that work!?! I always end up buying all the presents from all of us (there are 3 siblings!)…except now that my sister is a mum…I have to bloody buy her present & cards too!!


Yeah, March is good. As for Stewie’s mom, I always have a SPECIAL gift for her. Don’t tell Stewie though. He’s still not comfortable with our “arrangement”.


Ya know, I think if Earl and his brother somehow got together and had a child, the result would be Stewie.

I’m just saying.


Reminds me of last mother’s day.

Real’s brother: Dude, you got her a card. Would you mind if I singed it to?

PS. Love the banner, Gingersnaps back is my all time fav werewolf movie.