I am not a morning person.

Not only am a not a morning person, I hate the morning people who insist on being chipper first thing in the morning.

Also, I am not a phone person.  A gabber, if you will.

So when you call me in the morning and I flip the phone open and shut, hanging up on you, don’t call back.

If you do call back and I flip the phone open long enough to hear you say, “Don’t hang up on me agai…” before I close it, hanging up on you again, don’t call back.

And if you call a third time, and I simply hit the button that shuts the ringer, sending you to voicemail, don’t leave me a bitchy ass voicemail crying about how I should not hang up on you.

If you know me, you wouldn’t call me in the morning in the first fucking place.