I’m going to test you for a hernia while you’re here…

Last Saturday, as I ran up the stairs, I tripped and busted my arm on the wall corner.

It hurt like hell, but I figured the pain would go away. It didn’t.

Monday night, there was still a steady throb of pain, and there was still swelling on the arm. Feeling around the area I hit it, I felt something moving around under the skin. I didn’t think it was broken, nor fractured, but on Tuesday I made a doctor’s appointment just in case. The earliest they could get me in was on Wednesday at 1:30. I figured I had waited for a couple days anyway, so what was one more.

I arrived at the doctor’s office, filled out my forms and went into the examination room. The doctor asked me a bunch of questions (history of diseases, allergies I had, etc.) and checked out my arm. She said that what I most likely felt in my arm were blood clots, but she gave me a form to go get some x-rays, just in case.

Then she suggested a physical while I was there. I was cool with that, so she gave me a gown, told me to strip to my boxers and she’d be back in a second. I did as I was told.

When she came back, she checked my heart, had me walk on my tip-toes and heels, crab-walk and other sorts of things that I had no idea why I was doing them. After all was said and done, she sat in a chair and said, “I’m going to test you for a hernia while you are here. Take off your gown.”

I took off my gown. Then it hit me. I knew how a prostate test was done, but not a hernia test. If a hernia test was the same as a prostate test, I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it. I said, “Um, is a hernia test like a…”

“No,” she laughed. “I won’t be doing that today. Take off your boxers.”

I don’t know, once I knew that a finger wasn’t going up my ass, I had no problems stripping off those boxers. They flew off. I’m surprised they hit the floor at all and didn’t land on top of the bookcase or something.

She felt around a little, declared me hernia free and I was on my way for x-rays.

I haven’t heard back about the x-rays yet, I guess that will be tomorrow.

My co-pay was $20, and part of me is still wondering if I got my money’s worth.