I’m hoping to get a response…

Dear Ronald McDonald,

I often visit one of your fine eating establishments that is right down the street from me for your delicious sweet tea. I have to admit, I hadn’t been to McDonald’s in many years, but once you busted out that sweet tea of yours, I’ve gone on numerous occasions. Many times for the tea alone, but sometimes I grab myself a couple of hamburgers.

Now I know you have many people working under you that their entire job is to think up ideas to make visiting one of your fine eating establishments that much better for the consumer. And I bet you money you pay them well, too. But I’ve run into a certain problem consistently at the particular McDonald’s I frequent, and I have an idea, a thought if you will, on how it can be fixed.

Do you think that maybe, just maybe, it might be a good idea to hire someone who speaks English at the McDonald’s on Whitehall Road? I notice that you are an equal opportunity employer, and really that’s fantastic. But I’m thinking hiring a person who can comprehend, and speak, the English language to take a customer’s order might be a good idea.

For example, yesterday I went and placed an order at the counter. Here’s what I ordered:

2 hamburgers, no pickles
1 large fries
2 pies, one apple, one cherry
1 large sweet tea.

Here’s what I got the first time:

2 hamburgers
2 pies
1 cup

Do you see what’s missing? Yes, my french fries. Oddly enough, the order was even repeated back to me. Albeit broken English.

After getting my fries, I filled up my cup and headed out. Driving down the road, I ate my first hamburger. Good so far. Then I ate the second. To my surprise (no, not really, that’s sarcastic), there was a pickle. No big deal, I’m not allergic, I just don’t prefer them on my hamburger. It’s just a pain in the ass trying to drive and remove condiments you specifically didn’t ask for off of your hamburger.

After eating my fries, I reached in the bag for a cherry pie. As it goes, the first pie I grabbed was an apple pie. So I placed that to the side and grabbed the remaining pie. Another apple. Terrific.

So let’s see the score; of the six things I ordered, your people screwed up on four of them. Two apple pies instead of one apple, one cherry. One hamburger of the two had pickles. Originally no fries in the bag. Hell, if I hadn’t filled up my cup with sweet tea myself, that would have probably been screwed up, too. And, yes, I’ve gotten coke before when I ordered sweet tea at that same McDonald’s. I have no idea how that happened. So we’ll make it of the five things I ordered, four were wrong.

80% of my order was wrong. Way to go.

Now I’m just throwing this out here, just a little something you might want to think about: Do you think it might be possible that the failure rate might decline if the person taking the order spoke English? The optimist in me says yes, but I could be mistaken.

Yet, I think you should take it under some consideration and give it a go. Who knows, it just might cut down on your failure rate.


Stewie Redrum

Today I sent the link to this blog to Ronald. I’m hoping to get a response.