It’s all fun and games until someone gets an eye poked out…

I have two different colored eyes.

No, it’s not a birth defect. No, I’m not a dog (although that may be debatable in a year or so). No, I don’t buy two different colored contacts. It’s because of an eye injury I received about 25 years ago.

When I was seven, two friends and I were in a backyard throwing rocks and sticks into the woods. Eventually, we started running low on “ammo” and Keith (whose parents owned said yard) ventured into the woods to get some more stuff to throw.

While he was collecting the goods, Joshua and I continued to throw rocks. And I’m fairly certain it was the general direction we saw Keith head off too. Sure enough, we soon heard a yell as my rock found its target.

“Sorry!” I yelled out. But let’s face it, I wasn’t sorry. It was funny. I hit a target I couldn’t even see. Plus, Keith wasn’t crying, so no harm, no foul.

Keith came out of the woods a short time later carrying just one stick. WTF?

“All that time and you could only find one stick?” I asked.

“Yeah. It’s for you.” He said. And he threw it at me.

I shit you not, I was probably less than four feet away from him and he threw it like a damn pitcher. Not a softball pitcher, either. And yeah, it went into my eye.

His parents rushed me home (my house was like two doors down from theirs) and my parents rushed me to the hospital. Apparently, one of the top eye doctors in the county just happened to be visiting area hospitals that day. Either he was just leaving or had just left, but was called back when I was admitted. My eye was operated on that night to try and repair the damage that was done.

I don’t know how many total operations I had, but I think it was at least three. The damage was massive – a detached retina and a collapsed cornea are two of the things I know they worked on. To this day I am legally blind in it.

So how did I end up with two different colored eyes? I have no idea.

I will say this, though…

Before the eye accident, I had two hazel eyes that changed color (this is normal). I guess, depending on my mood, they go from blue to green – usually hovering around blue.

After the accident, they still change colors, but the right either stays dark green or brown while, like I said, the left one hovers around blue.

I don’t harbor any ill-will towards Keith. Hell, he was only five or six, he didn’t know any better. Plus, I got to wear an eye patch for school for a bit, so that was pretty cool. And, as a consolation prize, I have two different colored eyes.

The moral of the story?

Don’t throw things, someone will get an eye poked out.

Boo-yah! *rimshot*