I’ll only drink what’s free…

“I have a proposition for you.”

Phone calls that start like that rarely end up any good. And since it was Joy on the other end of the line, I was betting my half of the proposition would be fixing her computer.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

“What’s up?” I asked. She caught me at a good moment.

“Well, you know me and Darnell are going on that next year…”

(For those of you just joining, my sister’s name is not really Joy. But if you watch My Name is Earl, Joy is my sister. Minus the white trash part. But the attitude, oh yeah, that’s all her. And since we are sticking with the My Name is Earl motif, Joy’s hubby will be referred to as Darnell from here on in).

“Oh yeah, I forgot all about that,” I said. I actually never remembered it at all. So it was kind of truthful. I figured the next question would be if I would check up on the animals when I was fixing her computer.

Wrong again.

“Well, do you want to go?”

“What? Where? On the cruise?”

“Yeah. Dad really wants to go. And mom won’t fly.”

“Sure, I’ll go. How much is it?”

“Your half will be about $450,” she said. “And that includes airfare.”

“For how long?”

“Six days, five nights. It leaves Ft. Lauderdale, goes to Belize and Cozumel, and back to Fort Lauderdale.”

“Is it all inclusive?” I was having flashbacks to Jamaica (here and here).

“Yes. Except for alcohol.”

“Damn. Okay. I’ll only drink what’s free.”

When I got off the phone, I did a quick check on what to expect from Belize and Cozumel, and I saw that El Castillo is there.


Now that looks pretty bad ass. From the tour website:

“This 135-foot structure is one of the tallest Mayan structures in Belize. From the top, you can see the Peten Forest, the Mayan Mountains and even across the border into Guatemala.”

I sure as hell hope it has an elevator.

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Freak Magnet

Damn. You get to go to all the cool places. I hate you for that.

That said, if you need me to check up on the pooch, let me know.


That’s an amazing price. Enjoy!

dorothy gale

That’s so funny that you should mention the “Peten Forest” because I was reading that info out loud to your mom and dad, who just happened to be at my home… and I said, “you can see Peter Pan.” Now that is cool. I quickly realized though that is not what it read. Well that and your mother screamed at me, ” Yeah dumbass , you’re going to see Fucking Peter Pan.” Anywho.


Woah, you’ve gone from 1 post in a month to like 5 in two weeks! Jesus, work on your consistency, bitch! You’re like my crapping schedule when I was eating fast food all the time.


Cool — those gay cruises are awesome!!!


So if your sister is Joy, and your brother-in-law is Darnell, does that mean your nephew is Earl Jr.?

And you’re Randy, right? Nice!


It is nice to know that you are propositioned for things that don’t require compromising your moral integrity.


Hey, Crabman. 😆


Oh snap! He’s gonna love it. :yay:

[…] couple of months ago, Joy called and offered up a cruise to me. Long story short, she had won one, got a deal on the other, pops wanted to go, so I was all […]