Every once in a while you meet someone that, even after a brief amount of time with them, somehow manage to either change you, change the way you think or maybe a little bit of both.
I met one of those types of people this past week in Paris, and she changed the way I’ve been thinking about my life a little.
There’s a great line in Heat that is simple, but speaks volumes. Eady (Amy Brennemen) asks McCauley (Robert De Niro) if he’s lonely. McCauley replies that he’s alone, but he’s not lonely. And that is a spot on statement for my life. I’ve been single for awhile, but I’m not lonely. I think most of that has to do with my past few relationships have either ended badly, were bad from the get go or a combination of both. I think I just got to a point where I was tired of the bullshit that relationships have offered me and I have felt no need to get into another one anytime soon. And I didn’t miss them.
But the flipside of it is I didn’t know if I’d ever be interested in being a relationship again, and that bothered me somewhat. Not enough to dwell on, mind you, but it was something that I thought about on occasion because I knew that not wanting to be in any sort of relationship was not quite normal. In a nutshell, my concern was would I ever have an interest in being in relationship again.
Stephanie (a co-worker in our Paris office), however, made me remember how cool women can be. She actually made me miss dating a little bit. And that’s a good thing because for some time I thought that I would never want to date again. Yes, my relationships have been that fucked up. There hasn’t been a woman to do that in a good while. Now, don’t get me wrong, I never hated women. God no. But getting involved with them again was/is something that I still don’t know if I’m ready for.
See, the thing is, one of my main requirements (for oh, so lack of a better word) for a woman I’d date is independence. I don’t want to take care of anyone. I want to be there for them, but I don’t want to hold their hand in life. I want to do things with them (one of the things I miss most from dating is traveling with someone), but I also like time to myself and I don’t want to hear grief for it. And here comes Stephanie telling me, among other things, all the places she’s gone (world wide, mind you). On her terms. Meaning, she did it by herself. Put simply, that fucking rocks.
I’ve been to four countries and 21 states. But none by myself. Not that I wouldn’t be up for it, it’s just something I haven’t done yet. I have much respect for someone who just picks up and moves to different countries to see what else is out there.
To get to the point, I must give Stephanie a big thanks. She gave me hope that the cool girls are still out there and my quest for the one is not a lost cause.