I just wasn’t enough…

This weekend was HorrorFind 10. There are probably plenty of posts regarding HorrorFind and my love for it on this blog, as its usually a great weekend of friends, fun and celebrities from the horror genre.

Like the past couple years, I helped run the Timewarp Films table along with my friends Zig, Mitch and Rob. Also there was Sarah, a model Joe — the head of Timewarp Films — had hired for the weekend to get more action to the table. Nothing gets dorky horror fans to a table faster than an attractive model in front of it, and as handsome as I am, I just wasn’t enough.

This year’s HorrorFind was somewhat lacking in the star department. The headliners were “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (They Live, Wrassler) and Michael Biehn (Terminator, Aliens). Those two are cool guests, no doubt, but I don’t think they are quite big enough to headline a horror con, especially HorrorFind, which has had guests like George Romero and Bruce Campbell. But, honestly, it doesn’t really matter. The main reason I go anymore, anyway, is just to hang out and buy dorky things from the vendors.

In addition to the one this weekend, I’ve been three conventions this year already (the March HorrorFind, HorrorHound and Texas Fearfest). Before going this weekend, I thought I was pretty con’d out, and there wouldn’t be anyone I’d really be excited to talk to, but I was wrong.

I had completely forgotten William Forsythe was going to be there, and damn if he wasn’t a helluva a nice guy. I can’t go into what was discussed, but Zig brought up a fascinating conversation with him. I can’t speak highly enough of Forsythe.

Also there was Greg Nicotero. I’ve seen Nicotero at a few shows, but I’ve never gone to his table (although I should have, to pay some respect). The man is a god in the field of makeup effects. If you watch movies, chances are you’ve seen his work. Just take a look at his IMDB page. He was also pretty damn cool.

The highlight of the weekend for me, though, was talking to Jack Ketchum. Ketchum wrote the amazing “The Girl Next Door”, and was pretty involved with the film incarnation of it. I was fortunate enough to get a screener copy of this flick for HorrorTalk and absolutely loved it. The love was reciprocated, because when it was released on DVD, I was quoted on the back of the box. So, of course I had to get Ketchum to sign my DVD, which he did with a laugh. If you haven’t, read The Girl Next Door. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read, and if you like the shit kicked out of you, you will like this book, I promise. (No money back guarantee. I’m too cheap and some of you will lie just to get money from me.)

Ed Lee, another fantastic author, was sitting next to Ketchum and I finally got a chance to meet him, which was cool, and I picked up his latest chapbook (another entry in his “Infernal” series). I forgot to take my camera up with me when I talked to them, but like a true stalker, I managed to catch up with them both outside.

You have to love that creepy ass look Ed Lee (on the far left) is giving. 😆

The “Fuck You You Fucking Fuck” award for this convention goes to Michael Biehn. His table had a sign up that said “Michael Biehn Autograph: $25. Picture with Michael Biehn: $25.” Okay, $25 is $5 more than most of the other guests at any con, but as he’s more popular than a lot of guests, I can also see it. I don’t agree with it At All (especially since he’s still consistently working), but it’s no surprise, either. Charging for the picture, though, is a dick move. However, I can see that, too. I don’t agree with it, but I’m thinking the reasoning is so not everyone just comes and gets pictures taken, but not buy anything. But I figured if an autograph was purchased, the picture fee would be waved.

My buddy Eric couldn’t make it to this year’s show because he recently got married and was on his honeymoon, but he’s a big Aliens fan and wanted Biehn’s autograph. My plan was to pay for an autograph for Eric, and get the picture with Biehn for myself. So I walked up to the table, picked out a picture, handed Biehn’s handler the money and told Biehn who to make the autograph out to. I then asked if I could get a picture with him. I was told (by his handler), it would be $25 more. Normally, in this situation, I have no problems making my displeasure known, and I have on at least two occasions — once with Hellraiser star Ashley Lawrence and once with Anthony Michael Hall (his was indirect, but I was vocal enough for him to hear my displeasure, both Eric and Tom can attest to this 😆 ). Yet, I simply said, “Yeah, uh, no,” grabbed the autograph and walked away. See, in addition to be the head of Timewarp, my buddy Joe is also head of HorrorFind security and there’s no way in hell I’d do something that could possibly affect the reputation of a friend. So I ate it, and walked away.

However, since I have a keyboard and a blog, I have A Voice. 😆

That said, fuck you Michael Biehn. It’s a dick fucking move to charge your fans for a picture when they drop $25 for your signature.

Roddy Piper and Chris Sarandon had the exact same signs up, but since I did not get their signatures, I cannot say for sure if they were puling the same shit. If they were, fuck you both, too. It’s hard to pull a bigger asshole move on your fans than that little stunt.

Aside from some (potentially) bad apple celebrities shitting on their fans, though, it was a pretty fantastic weekend (to go along with a pretty fantastic couple of weeks I’ve been having). I’m already looking forward to next year.

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You didn’t meet Rowdy Roddy Piper? I feel like you two would have gotten along because you both wear skirts.


A skort, huh? I didn’t realize that you were a soccer mom. I’ll be sure to let Sam know. He’ll probably fly right over to see you because them Brits love their “football.”


I crack up everytime at your outrage and awe over the behaviour of participants at these conventions. I love these recaps.


Frank, stop hating on the skort. Don’t be angry that you can’t pull it off because you don’t have the sexy gams I do.

Snooze, :lol:, thank you. I assure you, it’s probably more fun in person when I vent out.


It’s just not the same without me, is it? So sad. So…so…sad.

But clearly you’re getting old, when you turn down the chance to go hang out with me and the Zig at a diner after Friday’s show. :blink: