Not even a smile…

I hate the metro.

No, scratch that, I love the metro.

I hate the fuckers that ride it (myself excluded, I love me).

The other day was just another day. I had my seat (99% of the time, in the morning, I sit in the same seat), I had my tunes (that particular day was a Billy Idol day) and I had my book (currently House of Leaves–much thanks to Shiki and GirlGhost for pushing me over to finally reading this, still digging it). And when I have those three things, I’m gone to the rest of the world.

So I’m really into the book, oblivious to those around me, when I feel a poke poke poke on my shoulder. I take out my earphones and turn around to see what all the ruckus is about.

“Why don’t you offer her your seat?” Says the lady who poked me, pointing to a lady in front of me who was standing, holding the pole with one hand and a cane with the other.

“Why don’t you offer her yours, if you are that concerned?” I asked. Okay, I didn’t, but I wanted too. I knew how this would end up. I always do. But what I really said was, “Sure.”

I stood up and faced the standing lady. “Miss,” I said, “you want my seat?”

She took the seat.

And that’s it.

No “thank you,” no smile, no fucking acknowledgement at all. She just barely glanced at me as she sat down.

What a fucking cunt. I hope that bitch fell down the escalator on the way to her destination. Then she’d need a wheelchair and I wouldn’t have to offer her my seat next time I saw her because she’d already have her own seat.

But, I don’t know why this surprised me. I deal with this shit on a daily basis. I hold doors for these women in DC and half the time I don’t get an acknowledgement. I used to offer my seat all the time when I first started riding the metro, but that came to an end because of the rude ass people who took them. So now I don’t even bother.

Ladies, you say chivalry is dead. Well, I won’t argue. But you can’t blame us, because it didn’t die a natural death. Women like that killed it.

Note, I’m not saying all women are like this. Just the ones that I deal with on a daily damn basis.

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I would’ve said thanks if only you weren’t such a bastard about it!

Freak Magnet

Did you do like I do and say, “OH, YOU’RE WELCOME!!!!” really loud so they feel like an ass for not thanking you?


You should’ve offered her your book and music in a sarchastic manner. If she had taken in, you then would of had to say that you’ve got a leg cramp, and try to squeeze both of you into the same seat.


I think both ladies were rude, and I’m generally a chivalrous sort of guy.


I gave my seat to a girl with a baby on a Japanese train and she almost worshipped me as a deity.

Cultural differences huh?


Yeah, but in Japan you get to grope the women on the train too. Did you grope her, DJ?